Tag Archives: #Parsi

MY FINAL TESTAMENT (“A Parsi’s Will”)

Posted on by

(Author Unknown)

September 23, 2020

I am a Parsi (“bawa”) – and I love the eccentricities & quirks, we, as a community, display…and I love poking fun at ourselves (as do most of us bawas)!  Those Parsis who disagree, my humble apologies in advance.

I received this by email and it was too funny not to post.  Read on for a ‘deep-belly’ laugh and if you know us Parsis, you too will tend to agree with our idiosyncrasies, accept them and take them in stride 😊.

(I don’t claim credit for this masterpiece- and I give full marks to the unknown author!  “Mumbai” based and minimal gujrati language knowledge may be required 😊)

QUOTE

This is hilarious stuff, especially for people who have exposure to it’s Parsi culture.

Whoever wrote it, thanks bawa….

I, Tehmuras Tehmpton Tarkariwalla (alias T3), being of sound mind [one and only time] and solid body [Dara singh no baap], do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass 9th grade biology if their lives depended on it; or doctors, who can barely treat my pet Bruno, but are interested in simply running up his bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

(Sali par Eedu: https://images.app.goo.gl/HdNKvGfEe5tcJ9Q69)

Char Double fried eeda with crisp [jalela] brown toast

Murabbo

Bhida par eedu

Dar-ni-poori

Marghi na farcha

Ek dajan taajah boomla

Akoori on toast

Dhanshak anne Kachumbar [tarela kabab sathe]

Kolmi no Patio

Chai with leely Chai & Fudino

Sali-ma-gosh with fresh chokah ni rotli

Duke ni raspberry

Lagan nu custard

Kulfi from Parsee Dairy Farm

Hafooz Mangoes

Belgian Chocolate

Scotch with soda

Patra ni machi

Kayani ni pastry

Victory na wafers

Paris Bakery ni butter khari biscuit…

…Then it should be presumed that I won’t ever get better.

(Morris Minor 1952: https://images.app.goo.gl/bAVv8z3H28WtqosD7)

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person [“BOY” – the kalia who has been my faithful Man-Friday from Billimora] and Soli, my solicitor, to ensure that the attending physicians pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

I have lived a good life and am looking forward to meet my Maker… Boy should go to the Cama’s at Mumbai Samachar and ask them to print my departure. And don’t forget to inform all the Ghelchodiyas & Gadheras who I used to drink with at the Parsi Gymkhana, otherwise they will curse me all the way back to Behram Baug.

A dinner must be organised at Dotiwalla Baug for my carrom gang with Godiwalla’s catering and whisky from Parson & Co. [the 1st licensed liquor shop in Bombay, license No.1] and call apro Gary Lawyer [who is not a lawyer but a besooro singer] and ask him to sing “Besame Mucho” for me at the dinner. Most of the carrom gang are deaf and don’t have an ear for music anyway.

(Paatra ni Maachi: https://images.app.goo.gl/g8EdzfX4KKem9TEU9)

Boy should continue to look after my Bruno from the money I leave behind in Central Bank nu khatu.

My Morris Tiger [1949] should be given to Soli, my solicitor and my horse “Knightsbridge” should be sold to a ghorawalla from Matheran and not to a ghoragariwalla in Mumbai or a ghorawalla in Mahabaleshwar as I don’t want the poor animal to gallop on daamar [asphalt] na rasta.

The furniture and fixtures should be given to Pundole’s to auction and the sale proceeds to be donated to the Bai Sakarbai PetitAnimal Hospital.

The Rani no photo should be sent to apro Prince Charles, who is now the husband of Kamaal ni Camilia.

sd/-

T3. [i.e. Tehmuras Tehmpton Tarkariwalla]

(In the presence of salo dukkar doctor Soli Saklatwalla and fatakadi nurse)

UNQUOTE

(Boomla (fish): https://images.app.goo.gl/LESFgxXMjM1hWftY6)

We Are Who We Are Because Of Our Forefathers- 5

Posted on by

May 26, 2020

REPLY ADDRESS BY MR. DINSHAW B AVARI ON THE OCCASION TO COMMEMORATE HIS 85th BIRTHDAY on NOV 5, 1987 –

(5 of 12)

“Mahatma Gandhi who made the British leave the Country, by his policy of non-violence, non-cooperation, asked all the Indians to stop insuring any foreign Life Insurance Companies. The result was that my business dwindled to such an extent that I had to make heavy inroads in my capital.  By 1945, I wanted to change the line of work.

Mr Wyseman was a friend of mine, and he was the Proprietor of the Bristol Hotel. My darling wife Khorshed used to like to eat English Food and so off and on, we went and had our meals there.

(photo credit- http://blogs.tribune.com.pk)

He told me that the British had decided to leave India and he would like to sell his hotel. He wanted Rs. 1 Lac for all the stock, name and fame, furniture, crockery, cutlery, glassware, linen, etc. but not the building which was a hired property from a Bori and a Hindu jointly.

In those days, the Home Secretary, which today is the equivalent to the Chief Secretary, was Sir Sidney Ridley, who was very friendly with me and who had appointed me on many Government Committees.   He was also a Rotarian with me, which Club had only 12 members in those days of 1933. The other members were Sir Montago Webb, (The First President of this Club) who was also the Editor and owner of Daily Gazette, Mr. Voegli, Manager of Volkart Brothers, who was the Honorary Secretary and the only Indian Members were Mr. Jamshed Mehta, Mr. Hatim Tayyabji, Advocate-General and Mr. Hatim Alvi along with myself.  I was also the Organizer of Tobacco Fund for soldiers fighting in the Front and hence I was very popular with the British Community. The reason for my explaining you this is to give you an idea of my status because this has an interesting reference later on.”

(to be contd)

(previous (4th) post- https://dinshawavari.com/2020/04/26/we-are-who-we-are-because-of-our-forefathers-4/)

Sala, what’s your problem, you MC… BC… ! (My Wife’s Going To Kill Me For This Post) 😊🤣🤣

Posted on by

March 5, 2020

(Photo credit- https://images.app.goo.gl/mA2M8UzXegxhzH266)

We Zoroastrians love to swear … I know, I love it – especially when I’m behind the steering wheel!

For many of us, swearing is part of our life, our idiosyncrasy, what makes us ‘whole’ and ‘completes’ us!

There’s hardly a Parsi I have met to date who doesn’t swear.

You feel good after letting off a stream of expletives … however dirty, vulgar or crude (especially the ones in our local dialect 🤣).

When I’m behind the wheel, my creative instincts take over when I’m blind sided, cut across, signal run or whenever.  It’s just feels so good to ‘have it out at the world’!

However, one thing about our expletives – there’s no vile in it; there’s no malice or intent to hurt; while guttural there’s no mean intent behind it…and that’s a fact.  We do it because we love it and can’t live without it but never with an evil intention nor from the heart!

So, when you are with a Zarthosti and hear a sentence starting with “sala”, be ready for, most probably, a string of flowery, invigorating, interesting train of expletives to follow!

…. Oops, my wife just got wind of my post and I can hear HER expletives all the way down the hall – I need to RUN 🤣🤣🤣🤣!

(Apologies in advance to all Parsis who may be offended by this 🤣)

(Photo credit-
https://images.app.goo.gl/mRnFXtpsr1D9TCdB)